Life is Strong...

I went to visit to visit a colleague in the hospital this morning, together with 5 other colleague friends.
This colleague of mine is a Burmese who came here to study and work. But she had cancer. I remembered that shortly after she came to our company, she was admitted to the hospital because she had the cancer of the breast. I didn't know her personally so I didn't quite believe it when my other colleague friends told me that she was in the hospital for breast cancer. I thought, how can that be? Didn't she just work here a few months ago? Everything just didn't make sense to me, somehow.

But then, I didn't get to know her better even after she was discharged. I literally heard everything about her based on what the other colleagues told me.
But when I finally get to talk to her, because of work, I realised how cheerful she is. She is like the happiest person alive. She didn't seem to be sick to me, at all. Maybe she is really happy to live again. She had a mastectomy of one of her breasts.

I thought she was well again. Until last week, she had a high fever and had to leave in the middle of work for home. Then she was admitted to the hospital. I got to know that, behind that cheerful face, she is really fearful of her condition. And that got me to think: she is really strong. Because she tries to hide her fears, and she did it pretty well.

So a bunch of us knocked and she saw us through the little window on the door. She looked esctatic to see us. And for me, knowing that she was hiding her true feelings because she probably didn't want us to feel bad, I went in and greeted her a loud and cheery "Hi! How are you!". She reciprocated in the same cheery manner. No. Even more cheerful, like bursting with sunshine. She looked good, I thought, though I couldn't help feeling sympathetic.
We asked her how she was and she explained her condition. Then came the ultimate shocking news that left everyone in the room silent. She explained that the cancer had spread to her lungs and uterus. And that her whole uterus had to be surgically removed. She then jokingly said, "Remove the whole uterus so cannot have baby already. But what to do, no choice ah." Can you imagine how I felt when I heard her said that? I felt devastated. She is only 30 years old and single. I knew she must be devastated by the news, but she still can joke about it. All of us just went dumb. For a few seconds, we stood in silence, because we didn't know what to say. Then she broke the silence when she used Burmese to speak to one of my colleague friends. I nearly wanted to burst into tears, but could only squeeze out a faint smile. I didn't want her to see anyone of us cry. I thought it would only make her more sad. I wasn't sure if she had come to terms with the fate of her destiny, but it seemed like she did.

We continued talking to her for an hour, and she was ever so cheery throughout the conversation. We left when she had her lunch. I walked out the door, feeling my heart ladened with stones and rocks. My heart was heavy. Our hearts were heavy.

I think I want to go visit her again, maybe after the operation which is dued in 2 days. Now, I can only pray for her to get well soon.

God bless.


"Fear can hold you a prisoner, hope can set you free."